


Thoughts From The Shower

by lunarlakes



Category: Original Work
Genre: Poetry, kinda cringe ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarlakes/pseuds/lunarlakes
Summary: Started off as poems and stories that I thought of in the shower, turned into general vent work.**I'll rush to the nearest piece of paper and pen, scribbling words down before I forget as water droplets splat on the page from my soaking hair. As the fresh ink spreads across the page from said water, I laugh at myself. These stories and poems aren't even good but they're so deeply personal, well, as personal as you can get for an angsty teenager.





	1. Life Is So... Straight.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myself.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=myself.).



despite what you may think,  
life is still straight.  
they'll say:  
"be free! roam hand-in-hand with your lesbian lover."  
but right around the corner is a punch in the face.

sexualisation doesn't help it either.  
 **I AM YOUR WOMAN  
YOUR MATRIMONY  
YOUR GIRL ON GIRL ACTION  
WHENEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE**

lipstick, butch, femme and dyke  
why does the label i choose to write on myself matter?

i just like girls  
(and maybe you too)


	2. I Want To Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know when you have that tiniest thrill of adrenaline, hope and optimism for the future and then it goes away after 5 minutes? This is that.

i want to live.  
i want to travel and seek adventure;  
wreak havoc in a hotel room  
'cause, baby we don't need to be censored.

i want to look up to the sky,  
to the dark deep universe  
whisper:  
"hey, there's that made up collection of stars over there."  
kiss her on the cheek as she cranes her neck to spot it.

i want to be heartbroken.  
as fucked up as it sounds.  
shatter the organ to pieces,  
i dare you.  
just to know what the feeling is like,  
just to know what _feeling_ is like.

i want to mourn,  
create,  
write.  
i want to the world to see my face,  
just not my voice.

i want to be eighty on a beach in... maine!  
reading the classics i don't currently "have the time" to read.  
i want to say:  
"hey, remember this guy?" pointing to a picture,  
laughing with my wife of the bittersweet taste of contentedness and regret.

because i will regret - i'll regret so much.  
but at least a poem like this,  
no matter how corny  
is one i can no longer forget.


	3. HW, CW, GW.

hw, cw, gw:

my hw was 7st 12, my gw was 7st 9.

i desperately wanted to be 7st 9

so i got to 7st 9

then, the gw became 7st 8

i got to 7st 8

then, the gw became 7st 5

i got to 7st 5

i "plateaued" for a while,

at least that's what _they_ call it.

7st 5 to 7st 4.2,

i still remember the exact ounces,

precious, precious ounces.

the cw will never be good enough,

i know this, i do

but the gw is still 7st now.

eventually it will get lower

and lower

and lower

bmi. bmi. bmi

18.6

18.3

17.8

17.5

16.7

16.2

15

death


	4. Writer's Block

writer's block:

is it really writer's block,

or can i just not be arsed?

is it really a "creative hiatus,"

or am i just not into it anymore?

do i really enjoy my hobbies?

or should i just watch youtube?

is this really a poem?

or just random lines of text?

am i "aesthetic" enough for you?

or is this just a pretentious pile of mess?

(probably yes, probably not,

who cares, this deserves to fucking rot)

ah yes, critiquing your own work in the middle of it.

how classy.

why don't you become the next mary shelley, hemingway?

orwell, wilde and poe.

nah, those guys are boring

wow this poem blows

(it's not even a poem, though)


End file.
